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My dad is really fucking scary sometimes hahaha. 

ITs funnny cause when he scares me, hes usually fucking with me,

Hes fucking with me because he knows i think its funny 

I walk in the house and he says ” whatre you doing max?”

im fucking startled and reply ” what? arent you supposed to be asleep?”

he says ” no!.. i said “what’re you doing max!?”“.

This scares me. I dont know if hes fully conscious or dreaming cause he sounds like a fucking serial killer.

” im checking up on you..DAD”

“howd you get home?”

“Gunnar drove me”

which is complete bullshit 

“did you lock up?”

i paused for a long time…..”yeah.”

“”did you shut off the lights”

for the one millionth time at least i told him ” yeah i shut off the lights”

“ill double check for ya. good night…max

cmon reader obviously i fucking turned off my crapy ass porch light after i double locked my back yard door. I do this every other fucking day. 

- and thats a synopsis of what its like to come home after hanging out with my friends :)